You know sometimes I wonder why I hate family gatherings so much. Well I don't hate them, they're just really awkward and I never know what to say and when I finally think of something there's no break in the convo and the topic has already passed!

But really they're not so bad. Sometimes I participate in entire conversations and I like to listen to the conversations too. So really it's not that bad and it's nice to catch up and the food's usually great! So sometimes I wonder why I hate them so much

and then Cajun comes waltzing in with his limping and arthritus and his swollen hip and his eyes that are always fileld with green gop that I always have to take out and his slowly turning blue pupils and eveyone goes:

"Aw poor cajun. He's such a lonely dog, no one's ever around to talk to him. Probably in pain all the time! He should be given some meds for his limping. How old is he? Woooow almost 11. You can't even take him for walks anymore. He's probably I really sad dog, bored all day long with nothing to do! You know in human years he's 77! He is getting to that age..."

Well do you know what? Shut up. Just
shutupshutupshutup
why can't everyone just SHUT THE RRRRRG UP.
KAY FIRST OFF. I'm freaking sorry that I'm gone all day for school. I'd love to just be at home and sleep with him on his disgusting smelly dog bed because that's like my freaking happy place. And yes he probably is in god damn pain all the time but he's not complaining and I don't wanna complain so just shut up don't pity him you don't know crap.
He's been given meds his entire life and he hatehatehates them god FFFurrrg He gets the irritations on his skin sprayed and before that we had to shoot meds down his throat with this medicine shooter and shove pills down his throat and he has weird ground up stuff on his food and can't eat wheat and has had TWO GROWTHS AND SEVERAL CONES AND OPPERATIONS. HE DOESNT NEED THAT please oh god you don't know the way people looked at him. Sick with disgust and pity.
YES he's eleven good for you, you can count how wonderful. BUT HE DOESN'T ACT LIKE IT SO GO FALL DOWN SOME STAIRS OR SOMETHING. No he can't go for walks anymore because even though he'd love to, he can only last a few minutes and he really hates that fact because his body's old but in his mind he's still a puppy and he over stresses his body and then starts hacking up stuff and then can barely move for the rest of the day
HE'S NOT SAD. DONT SAY THAT
DONTDONTDONTDONT
PLEASE no he can't be sad if he is I've failedfailed failed with a big fat red F for freaking failure. I try I try I try real hard. I come home and sit with him and talk to him and tell him about my day and just lay there no he can't be sad he gives me kisses
He's not 77.
He's as old as me. We've always been the same age, ever since the day he was born we've always been the same age. We're the same. The exact same.
And don't you ever ever ever think I don't know what "THAT" age means just shut up and be quiet sew your mouth shut for all I care. Don't patronize him. Don't pity him.

He's my brother my protector my baby my child my best friend my boy my dog. I'm his sister mother protector best friend owner companion girl. We need eachother so don't go saying that stuff because he's been ignoring it and so have I for a long time and you're just bringing it back up don't ask me what kind of dog I want after 'this'
just shut up and
turn the other cheek
we're okay living like this
Drowning out your noise with our breathing

let us be happy now and revel in our denial and pleaseplease don't remind us of the inevitable end

please.